“With Great Pain, A Formal Feeling Comes”

“The nerves sit, ceremonious like tombs” — Emily Dickinson

So — I’ve made it to Day Three this week of my original intent for this blog, which was to make a post five days a week — might I actually just do it?!!

Stay tuned ;)

Sometimes, I have a vague sense of “what” I am going to write about, and other times, it just all sort of takes a strange and yet hopefully somewhat coherent shape (maybe). As I’ve been writing about the importance of both feeling one’s pain and yet also, seeking to find that ever elusive “balance” of also not wallowing in one’s pain, hence, the blog post for today, Wednesday.

The above quote, taken from an Emily Dickinson poem, seems to perfectly describe where I’m at the moment, with sitting with my feelings, allowing myself to FEEL the grief, the pain and the sorrow of a now former female friendship seemingly ended. It’s made me reflect upon how so many of us have “lost” someone/something during this pandemic and even beyond.

I suppose in a way, it’s rather like the mental and emotional equivalent of a modern day Civil War: disagreements over vaccines/masking, whether Covid is even a “thing” — I think also that what it’s done is to put into clearer view some friendships and relationships that perhaps would have ended anyway, but Covid rather hastened their demise maybe? I’m not sure, but that does seem to be the case for me, at least. While ultimately I think this is probably good for the long term, in the…