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Why Is Doing “The Right Thing” So Very Painful?
For most of my adult life, I have believed in “Karma” — an inherent notion that somehow any redress/rebuke that was needed would appear, almost as if by magic. Sometimes, perhaps, I might even be there to witness it, but more than likely, the karma would happen without me being fully present.
However, I am no longer sure that “Karma” itself exists, but instead am left with this existential dread that I have been, at my own detriment, fooling myself into believing such a viable option existed. Allow me to explain.
For much longer than I ever anticipated, these past few years I have been dealing with lawyers regarding my now former employer. It has been beyond stressful in all ways: physically/mentally/emotionally. Friendships and relationships fractured and fell apart; thankfully, some of them were able to be repaired — point being: when one is IN a situation, just trying their utmost best to “live through it” — it becomes a “fight or flight” type of response, meaning: just trying to survive as in: literally being in “survival mode” but, after the dust has settled, and I had some time to “breathe” I could begin to better understand just what had occurred: the all too familiar phrases of “Toxic Work Environment” and “Gaslighting” and “Micromanaging” — all of these applied to me and what I had been through.
