Moving On and Letting Go (Again)


I’m sitting here, writing this and looking at this image thinking “But you can’t see the forest for the trees” but then I’m also thinking “But maybe both are necessary” — it’s very nearly the end of January of this still fresh new year and I feel…everything it seems, all at once — conflicting emotions.

If I really think about it, these past few years have been somewhat horrendous for me, but then again, I also think that the past few years have been pretty awful for a lot of us, in our own different and unique ways.

For me personally, 2020 was a turning point for me — not just with the pandemic but with the recognition that something desperately needed to change for me; actually, in looking back now, I would say A LOT of things.

And with that in mind, I began to (slowly) make those changes (and still am): acknowledging my traumas, starting therapy (again), making the decision to begin a taper from my Klonopin, understanding (and trying to accept) that change is a constant in life, whether we want it or not, and those changes can often, if allowed, become a force for good in ones life.

BUT, wow, is it ever PAINFUL to realize that — I mean to really fully and truly embrace that and what it then means for the long term meaning: certain relationships that I’ve had with others probably will not make the transition…



An Ethereal Girl in a Material World

Former ballet dancer. Longtime goth girl. Instagram: ethereal_girl_material_world_