“Letting It Go And Moving On”

Image from Unsplash

So, these past few years have been exhausting for just about everyone that I love and care about (including myself). There have been so MANY losses — not just literally, as in: losses of life, but losses in so many OTHER ways, too.

It’s often felt, at times, like a tsunami of grief — tidal waves of it, non stop.

I love water. I love being surrounded by water, and especially with regards to oceans/seasides/the scents/sounds/air…all of it…but with a particular fancy towards the waves. I love to immerse myself in the water just enough for the waves to crash against me. It can feel scary sometimes to do this, because as you’re standing there, watching the approaching waves, you don’t know, until the very second they hit you (or not) if they’re going to crest and hit you full force OR if, as they’re approaching, by the time they reach you, they’re going to be lesser in force. It’s a risky proposition sometimes; albeit quite thrilling.

This time, a year ago, I was at the Outer Banks with my now former boyfriend.

After we actually located THE perfect secluded private beach for us, we would venture together into the ocean and he would stand behind me, his arms wrapped around my waist, holding on to me, as the waves approached us.