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I’m Falling In Love With Myself
So, this past weekend, I had an epiphany of sorts…a realization of this:
Throughout most of my teenage and adult life, I have been “in love with love” or rather the “idea” of it. This tendency manifested in many ways.
In a strange sort of way, it was a bit of a double edged sword when I was dancing ballet because in order to be good at it, apart from technique, I also had to FEEL what I was dancing which, in that instance, worked very well for me; it was only outside “there” in the REAL WORLD that I experienced myriad problems. Does it ever seem to anyone else that this “falling in love” thing was SO much easier when we were younger?
Meaning: less experienced, more innocent, willing to be hopeful?
For example: I *cringe” with embarrassment when remembering how, just meeting someone and realizing “Hey, you like REM too? Cool! Let’s date” was actually the way that I approached relationships; perhaps it’s not that unusual at a young age, but what I DO know is this: being a romantic has, for the most part, brought me immense pain, suffering and confusion.
As Ian Curtis once sang: “Your confusion, my illusions”…
In mid-life, where I am now, I realize that the foundation for a long lasting relationship (for me, anyway) isn’t based on shared musical tastes, sexual…
