“Frou Frou Foxes in Midsummer Fires”

Photo: From Author

I was listening to this Cocteau Twins song earlier (hence, the title) and this lovely little “foxy” girl was bought by me at the suggestion of a dear friend on a girl’s spa get away weekend together. I remember her saying to me:

“You HAVE to get this, it’s SO you…”

And yes, it is, I believe.

I’ve not written a blog post in a while (as someone recently reminded me).

I’ve not felt up to it — and in fact, I’ve even wondered if I should continue this blog. When I first began this blog experience, it was REALLY important to me; I tried (although always unsuccessfully) to write five days out of seven. I think maybe I managed, at most, three days out of five and it reminded me that “the best laid plans” — so, what has happened between now and then? Well, in a word: life and all the ups downs and throw arounds that it brings with it. “Life” has been getting to me as of late.

Too much noise, too much brightness, too much confusion and yet at the same time, eerie predictability. It sounds strange, quaint, and, let’s face it, down right OLD to say that I can remember a time where upon waking, I didn’t immediately look at my phone, or ANY phone, for that matter.

I didn’t check email. I didn’t check the news. I didn’t look at my online social profiles. I just…existed…not that my existence prior was always stellar because it most definitely wasn’t but I think (although can’t be sure) that I was just, you know…” living”…and trying to exist in the best way that I could. I miss those days, even though I know that they are long gone and, as my grandmother would sometimes say, “That horse has already left the barn.” I thought of this necklace earlier today because it occurred to me that I hadn’t really worn it that much, if at all, and that made me sad.

In preparing to move to another country, I have had, I am realizing, a delayed grieving process of sorts. What to keep. What to donate. What to sell. What has sentimental value versus monetary value. What lasts, and also, what doesn’t last. How do I make the difficult decisions of “things”…

And I thought of my fox necklace and was immediately transported back to that time and place with my friend. Pre Covid. Pre Trump. Pre everything.